The Brother Drama

I'm writing at work because there's not much else to do. Actually, there's work to do, but I'm not in the mood. The office across the hall has painters in today and I have a headache. So do a couple other people. Sucks.

I have a brother. He just got a new job working as an assembly technician at a company that makes valves and pumps. I hope he likes it. I hope he doesn't screw it up. Like the one job he really wanted.

He and I are different in a lot of ways, and it's difficult for me to understand him sometimes. He's at the age (21) where many kids are finishing college and looking for what they want in a career. He just left a job at a movie theater. I'm not condemning him for not going to college. He tried it and it wasn't for him. But I think he's going to have a much harder life than someone who went and I'm afraid he'll regret his behavior of the last 4 years. And some part of me hopes he regrets it, because it'll show that he's grown up and away from the high school mentality he's still in.

I'm not sure how I feel about his girlfriend. On the one hand, I don't have any doubt that they love each other very much. But I think that she's immature and so is he, and they both have issues in their lives that they're using the other one to help them ignore. I hope for their sakes that when the need for distraction is gone, the love is still there. I also hope that she doesn't hold him back from what he can achieve. I don't know her well enough to really judge, and I'm conflicted. Their relationship is none of my business, but it will become my business when he comes to me and tells me she's pregnant because they couldn't/wouldn't buy condoms. Pot is still more important to them, apparently. And he's definitely not ready for a kid. He can't even take care of himself right now, so I constantly have fingers crossed that they're safe, and if not safe then at least lucky. So far so good. Of course, I just recently found out they're not using anything when they have sex, so it's a recent concern.

I really hope he doesn't screw himself up.

The problem is that I'm seeing his life through me-colored glasses. I'd never do most of the things he's done and I can't grasp why he's done them. We've led and are leading different lives, and my rules don't necessarily apply to his life. I don't claim to have the right answers, although sometimes I sound to myself like I do. I wish I did. I also just wish I could know that everything is going to be ok. If I knew that, I think I could handle all the rest of the stuff that comes up along the way. And I'd certainly worry a whole lot less than I do now.